Nothing could be more tragic for the host of a cooking show than discovering that she has a food allergy/sensitivity list as long as the bible. This is what has happened to me over the course of the last few weeks. Luckily, I can still eat this week’s recipe!
Yes, I already knew that I was wheat-gluten sensitive. Dairy too. Though I didn’t want this to be true, the simple fact of the matter was that every time I took a sip of milk or a bite of ice cream, within 24 hours I had enough mucus to build a tissue-tower to rival the Eiffel. You think I kid. I don’t.
This new situation is what I like to call: scenarious. Scenarious: adj., a serious scenario in which one discovers that what they previously thought about something is no longer true or correct and the revelation leads to a Dark Night of the Soul in the form of aggressive hair twirling, inner lip biting, and copious tears.
For the past month, with a strict no-cheating dictum to boot, I haven’t eaten: lamb, egg (white + yolk), lobster, shrimp, oyster, green peas, cherry, pineapple, white potato, apple, and spinach. Spinach! To this list, I’ve been told to add coffee, yoghurt, cow’s milk, rye, wheat (duh), oats, barley, malt, baker’s yeast, lima beans, and green beans. Green beans!
Thankfully my acupuncturist does not believe in torture. So even though such innocuous delicacies such as almonds, asparagus, carrot, cauliflower, corn, cucumber, eggplant, garlic (!!!), lettuce (!!!!), black pepper (!!!!!), etc etc etc came back red on my IGG food sensitivity panel, he told me to ignore that and eat them anyway. Combine these with my environmental allergies (mold, dust, pollen, trees, and grass) and the only conclusion to draw is that I am allergic to being alive.
The good news is that I’m the host of a cooking show! So if anyone is equipped to handle this restriction list, all the better that it be someone who’s job it is to create culinary castles in the air, which is what I’ll have to use as a main ingredient if I want to make sure that I’m not allergic.
Of course this pandemic explosion of food sensitivities is not disconnected from the current state of my health and immune system, both of which are behaving like garbage right now. However, it has pushed me to research a lil’ ol’ diet called GAPS, which is an 18 month long commitment (no cheating allowed) which supposedly reverses all of these allergies, and maybe even some of my health issues too. Who knows. If that happens, buckle your seat belts. We’re gonna be taking a ride through the grainless galaxy!
Until then, enjoy this week’s episode….